Unbreak the Lines
By: Tom BlairSometimes, it just doesn’t work. Marriages fail and couples get divorced. The rest of your life will not be quite as you planned. However, if there are children involved, you will always be linked.Some divorces are very bitter with hurt and angry feelings lasting for years. For the sake of the children you need to move past all of that. Effective communication between the parents is necessary in order for them to both have an active role in the lives of their children. School is a major issue for parents. Both need to be attending school functions and talking with teachers about the progress of the students.
It is important for the children to see the parents getting along at least when it comes to their needs. Children should never hear one parent talking bad about the other. It can lead to feelings of insecurity, resentment and guilt. Children should never have to choose between their love for one parent over the other. For couples to use the children as a means to communicate with each other, placing them in the middle of the conflict by using the children to send messages back and forth isn’t fair to the children. If face to face communication is too difficult then try using the phone. Agree to stick only to the issues concerning the children. Objectively, discuss issues, keeping in mind the child’s best interest. Fair compromise is very important when dealing with issues that concern your children. If talking over the phone is too difficult, try sending notes. Don’t use your children to pass them, try email or internet messenger. Remember to stop and take a breath before you hit the send button. You may want to edit the emotion out. It may not be easy to maintain good communication with your ex. In fact, lack of communications is often a major reason couples get divorced. For your child’s future, you do need to make it work. It is not too late for parenting classes or counseling. They can help you to understand the importance of good communication. You can also learn effective techniques to use so you don’t slip into your old behaviors. Your children will certainly appreciate all of your efforts. It is a very important lesson that you can teach them by example. Showing them that you still respect the other parent demonstrates that you really care about their well being. About the Author
Life, Health, Wellness and Relationship Coach
There is a difference between living and being ALIVE! Often the difference between living and living the good life comes down to a handful of life choices. Nurturing the mind, body and spirit can give you the clarity to address these life choices.
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